I can’t think of anything worse than having success opportunities laying themselves at your feet,
then watching yourself do 100% nothing about them.
Isn’t it the worst when you KNOW that it’s *you* standing in your own way,
yet you keep self-sabotaging your success anyway?
It’s a cycle that takes on a life of its own, using your success as its prey, and never seems to quit.
I used to live in this cycle on the regular.
Too tired, too discouraged, too heartbroken from my past, I didn’t pounce like a healthy savvy sensitive woman would.
I didn’t pounce on the chance to be in the world, as I was meant to,
whether it be in romantic partnership,
or enjoying the experience of living in my body as uplifting,
or a in my soul-led business.
Self-sabotage took over every time something good landed in my lap.
For me, this happened in all 3 areas:
- romantic partnership: when I met the man of my dreams, I started nitpicking fights with him as soon as we moved in together. I caught myself doing it. I didn’t want to do it, but the self-sabotage force within me, driven by my fear of living life “too good” took over, creating severe damage in that connection.
- body image: until 2009, I ate my feelings instead of dealing with them, whenever they got too intense. Until age 29, this didn’t show up as overweight on my body, but when it did, all the conditioning I had around what women’s bodies were supposed to look like rose up, so I could deal with it, and learn how to love myself, without wavering – no matter what my physical body looked like.
- business: after generating $30,000 in sales in one week in my coaching business in 2014, my best friend disowned me and my parents distanced themselves from me. I kept getting the message that if you succeed, you will be alone. That’s Tall Poppy!
When I heard that Tony Robbins went through a similar Tall Poppy siege in his business, something clicked inside of me.
He explained it so well, and shared with his whole, vulnerable heart, that I understood what was happening with me, and was able to move through it.
What is “tall poppy,” you ask? Tall Poppy’s syndrome is the tendency to discredit people who have achieved notable wealth.
If you picture of poppy field, the “rule” of that field is that any poppies that grower taller than the rest (in other words, “too tall”) are going to be left alone, to face the unknown elevation in the sky.
They are no longer part of the safe, comfort of the rest of the field. They will not blend in and be protected by numbers.
They will be all alone – maybe even isolated for good, which increases the threat of being annihilated.
Tall poppy syndrome and its impact runs so deep, especially for sensitive women, back to the times when we stuck out too much -whether it was for our psychic talents and gifts, or wanting more freedom than the law allowed us, and we literally did get killed in many different ways, for many different reasons.
All women have cellular memory of being burned at the stake due to history. This can block a business woman’s success today.
In Tony Robbin’s case, his circle of friends was his poppy field. Tony was 19 years old and had just made his first $10,000 profit, in one month.
He ran to them, ecstatic and said, “We can do anything! Let’s go celebrate! “
Their response was, “Who do you think you are? Money is not everything. “
The impact it had on him was severe. He stopped making as much money, hid in his Laguna Beach apartment, and gained 45 pounds.
Just like when I called my best friend, after creating that $30,000 sales week, saying “Oh my God! Look what happened. Look what I created. Isn’t this wild?”
At first there was silence. Then a toxic slew of words flung at me.
Followed by a silent treatment still in effect to this day.
Her reaction was to shame me, shut me down, then never speak to me again.
It was horrible.
The terror of being alone and without the safety of my tribe nearly overcame me. At a core, visceral level, I felt like I was going to die if I kept creating the same level of success.
Without my own healers, support system, and a plethora of mindset, energy, and personal development techniques to overcome this with, I may have gone all the way down and given up on my business altogether.
Tall poppy terror is that powerful – it runs deep, at the level of ancient cellular memory.
Your primal, “lizard” brain also takes over and kicks up the intensity of your survival instincts.
When your brain works against you, it tells you to stop achieving the very success you desire.
If you have anything like this run resonating inside of you, it must be cleared, because your primal lizard brain will start working against you, fearing you won’t survive. When your body and brain are hijacked this way, your chances of success are low.
Once the tall poppy momentum gets going, it takes a significant amount of time and “back-tracking” to reverse. This is not to say it’s not possible – I did it, so can you. Awareness and understanding is both the first step to reversing this, and the best prevention.
Sadly, many of my success coaching clients have also had this experience.
One client shared how nobody would get into her Mercedes when she first bought it. She lived in Northern California, and they were considered a “different vibe “if you made more money, and so she was rejected. This is “tall poppy syndrome quote and must be overcome to create authentic, sustainable success.
A lot of suffering and victim mentality go along with Tall Poppy.
It’s the worst kind of trap.
SO WHAT’S THE GOOD NEWS?
What I found on the other side of tall poppy syndrome, with the training into joy. Just getting used to living free and joyful. That comes with any kind of success. It is in evitable as you expand into higher levels of success in your business and life.
Allowing yourself to live this open, like an eagle flying, isn’t comfortable, but it is worth it.
CLICK HERE OR ON VIDEO IMAGE BELOW TO WATCH ME DISCUSS TALL POPPY WITH A SUCCESS COACHING CLIENT: