Maybe I should have known back then.
I’ve always been such a sensitive person.
My mom, who was a teen mom,
and still developing emotionally herself,
would say to me on the regular:
“Gina, you can’t let every little thing bother you. Toughen up!”
My Nonna (mom’s mom),
whose extraordinary gentleness taught me how to trust,
would even say to me at times:
“Ohhh, Gina. We’re just joking, come on! We’re having fun.”
She was the only person in the world who got me,
yet I still couldn’t shake it off – not even for her.
I feel things deep, real deep. Always have, always will.
As a child, my emotions had no “off” button.
Nonna hugged me so hard and so long in those moments.
It helped -yet she knew that some way, some how,
I needed thicker skin.
For the world she knew,
as an immigrant woman raising a family,
was foreign, and harsh.
She’d spend the rest of her life trying,
to build this thicker skin with me.
Her love and empathy, kept me feeling safe,
and understood. It had me getting up, trying again.
To see if I could “tough it out,” like Mama always wanted me to do.
And while Nonna didn’t see my skin strengthen while she was alive,
she gave me wings from the other side . . .
just not quite in the way we expected.
Focusing on the Right Thing
You see, high sensitivity isn’t a disease or sickness to be overcome.
It is a unique and beautiful way of being, that is to be celebrated,
The people who love us will do whatever it takes to learn,
what the rest of the world doesn’t know yet about sensitive beings.
Our loved ones learn with us, and celebrate our rare beauty.
It is said that under 1% of human population is *this* sensitive,
just like 1-10% makes over $100k per year.
So while it’s not typical,
learning to see sensitivity as a gift, is essential.
It’s this shift that is required,
not focusing on why I’m a square,
or why I’m not fitting into the round hole.
Round holes aren’t for everyone.
We need different shapes,
and if you are a different shape, like me,
and you’re looking to have your business reflect your rare beauty,
so it and you will thrive,
shift your focus,
toward your unique beauty.
There are tricks we sensitive ones can learn.
Even if right now you’re like I was as a girl,
having life’s littlest wind knock you down.
Or, you’re going through something that is tough to navigate,
like when Nonna died … I feel you!
When she died, I was thirty-four years old on the outside.
Inside, I was a teeny child, wondering who would protect me now.
Older as I was, I still reacted and over-reacted, to many things.
Relationships were the hardest for me.
My emotionality was interpreted as “won’t loosen up”
instead of “couldn’t.”
It felt like nobody could see, what I see so clearly now:
I just wasn’t built that way.
I am a sensitive being, with powerful gifts.
Processing mass amounts of external stimulation isn’t one of them.
And it’s more than okay.
People didn’t like it. Back then, I didn’t understand it.
All I could feel was hurt, over and over and over again.
Every jab that typical people saw as “normal life,”
made me want to run away.
Overcome with emotion, I often did leave.
I ran away scared, overwhelmed.
Burned bridges to other human beings,
because I didn’t know what else to do.
I felt so alone. Like nobody understood me.
This loneliness lived on – many many many years,
until …. my determination caught fire.
$uccess = Determination on Fire
The hardest things in life build strength.
When Nonna passed, she gave me wings to fly in a new way.
Eventually, I saw my gifts and value.
I expanded these, developed a company I love and adore,
one that is based on my strengths.
I took a stand for, and I figured out how to receive and allow for,
support along the way.
I learned to believe I was worth celebrating my gifts,
and to receive help for my specific challenges.
That’s when I thrived.
In business, in life, with money.
Before I reached this level of success, I needed to grieve, deep.
The loss of my Nonna.
The loss of feeling secure in the tribe I was born into.
I needed to learn how to find other sensitive beings like me,
to find my soul tribe, allow them to be my family.
So, I grieved, then I learned, I grieved, then I learned.
Us sensitive women love our books.
Dancing with information is one of our favourite things!
Combine this with a fire so passionate, success can’t not happen,
and you have your recipe to move through, and up, too.
Without my protector, my Nonna Wolf, you see, I had to get this.
I had to figure it out.
The wings she gave me were coloured with independence.
My way. True, soul-aligned, integrated empowerment.
Living so sensitive, without a resonant community to shelter me,
was no longer an option.
Community for me, in my early years especially, was mostly Nonna.
Now that she was gone,
my soul wouldn’t have me falling into an empty, lone human existence.
Unfolding this sensitive flower called me was now urgent.
She would turn in her grave until I bloomed.
And she’s that special Italian-brand of persistent,
even from the other side.
The Strength of Sensitive Souls
How would I turn a lifetime of feeling I’m on the wrong planet,
living in a body that our Creator forgot to put skin on,
Honing in on my talents and gifts was the answer.
My powerful intuition for one- to the point of woo woo scary psychic .
High intellect, too.
Since we sensitives spend much time holed away, reading,
to avoid being overwhelmed by too much worldly interaction,
we usually have highly developed intellects.
Accepting these two pluses alone,
highly developed intellect and intuition,
(believe me: there are many, many others)
will transform your life and business,
if you let them, Sweetness.
Ready to step into your power?
We all have them. Society even expects women to be wildly emotional,
to the point of our detriment at times,
like when we aren’t taken seriously in certain circumstances,
if we display emotion. Yet sometimes we just can’t help it.
Memories of intense emotion from past experiences,
by-pass our conscious mind,
and fill our bodies with fear, sadness, or excitement.
As sensitive women, we have several memories of experiences,
that were extremely intense for us.
You may have people around you saying you have too many,
that you’re too sensitive, you can’t let go of things.
This is far from the truth, Love.
Remembering and feeling makes you a beautiful, loving soul.
Feeling our emotions as we process them is essential to our health,
just as equally as dealing with them effectively is.
If you’d like to, and only if you choose to, because you want to,
there are ways of understanding what’s happening,
and managing it differently – again, only if you want, and choose, to.
When your core functioning is affected,
and you are blocked from living life as you desire,
including having plenty of money in your bank account to support you,
it might be your time.
For the effect of being filled or flooded with emotional memory,
especially when it happens quickly,
is that our bodies feel one way,
and our minds another – leaving us wondering consciously:
why do I feel so awful?
why can’t I just create what my soul so deeply needs and desires?
I don’t get it.
Pay attention here, Love.
Those are the key words: right now.
Emotional memories are from the past!
How Emotional Memories are Triggered
Scents, sounds, textures, tastes, and sight –
like seeing a particuar gesture someone makes at work,
for example one that mimics your mom’s gesture in childhood,
the one she made before sending you to your room,
as punishment, can throw you into emotional memory.
This can happen instantly, and automatically.
One minute you’re a grown woman at work,
the next present and past merged, confusing you.
For the emotion feels as real today, as it did back then!
Your senses are incredibly powerful, particularly scent,
when it comes to triggering emotional memories.
Scent and other senses can by-passes our conscious mind,
and throws us into the emotional memory state (aka flashback),
without us even knowing what happened.
This is especially true when we’re not aware of what’s happening,
when we don’t have enough compassion for ourselves,
and it can affect our careers, our relationships, our money –
our entire lives.
When you have PTSD
This emotional memory state is commonly referred to as a “flashback”
Technically, a flashback has a visual component to it,
Not everyone has this visual aspect,
but all of us have the “body memory” aspect-
that flooding and overwhelm that hijacks our executive functions.
Flashbacks are often associated with PTSD because they can be intense,
to the point of dissociation,
or debilitating the person’s ability to function,
from anywhere from a few minutes, to weeks at a time!
I would spend months in emotional memory flashback,
having no idea what was happening to me.
Doctors told me I was probably depressed, if I dared to ask for help.
Deep down, I knew I wasn’t, yet I had no other way to explain it.
This confusion was the worst.
I would have no idea what was happening to me,
especially since I am the type of person who doesn’t “see” the memory,
in a visual or concrete sense. It would just overwhelm my body.
Scents, sounds, tastes and textures would trigger emotional memories.
These triggers are the invisible ones,
and because they by-passed my conscious mind,
and I couldn’t see a visual to help me understand what was happening,
that it was a memory from the past,
and I have my highly intuitive and intellectual brain,
processes sensory information differently than most,
I would literally get sideswiped by these states.
That’s when my survival mechanisms would kick in,
and I would run away.
Or fawn by running back to my triggering source of hurt,
denying anything happened, only to be triggered again and again.
Or I would fight, like my life depended on it.
It felt like it did.
And it confused the hell out of the humans left in my dust.
How Our Money Lives Are Affected
The message I repeat over and over again to my audience,
my private mentoring clients, my course students
and in my online programs, is:
Thoughts create feeling states, which determine what actions we wil take. The actions we take then determine how much money we have in our bank account.
So if you’re someone like me,
who would become debilitated (literally frozen)
by emotional memory states,
particularly those that reminded you of severe past traumas, then
you weren’t functioning enough to take action that brings in money –
which means you often didn’t have any. I didn’t either!
You could be anywhere on the spectrum,
from being stuck in making a certain amount of money,
and not being able to “break the ceiling” of that income amount, or,
so stuck you aren’t functioning at all,
and depending on others to take care of you,
as I once did too.
This frozen dynamic can play out at any level of functioning,
and at each level lies an opportunity to transform it into success.
Turning this Mess into Success
I am still mastering managing emotional memories, I always will be.
They rarely take me over now though,
which is my greatest accomplishment and source of empowerment.
I got here by:
- learning how to manage these emotional memory states
- learning how to resolve the memories quickly and effectively, and
- being present to my business in a way that allows me to create consistent revenue, which to me represents a fulfilled, grounded, and glorious life!
If I did it, Woman, so can you.
P.S. Are you ready to turn your own MESS into Success? Here’s my gift to you . . .